I've had enough. It's about time you take responsibility for yourself. I'll do my part this time around.
To each his own.
I'm late to work.
The guy I usually carpool with to work bailed on me the last minute. I literally had about 6 minutes to put on some clothes, grab my shoes and rush out the door to catch the first bus, hopefully getting there in time. I guess flossing wasn't an option today. Not that it was a regular thing for me nowadays anyway, but still. I prefer having the choice.
On my way to work, I kept thinking about responsibility and blame and how we usually come to terms with these notions. Surely, the obvious solution here is to start blaming it on the asshole for not letting me know sooner and, in all honestly, I had all the reasons to do so and not feel bad about it. Wouldn't you?
Is it wrong to have expectations in the first place?
Being an adult has its setbacks, I suppose. It sets this level of expectations I somehow thought others were, by default, supposed to be aware of and follow through as well. Guess I had my big revelation today.
Responsibility is something I used to struggle with my whole life. As far back as I can remember, I was constantly running behind the schedule, always catching the last minute train, always judging (though secretly admiring) those who, apparently, don't have anything better to do than getting things done in due time. Hated them. And hated the way they were always so well put together and all responsible.
"Why does everyone have to be so responsive, stick to their word and all that adult shit society contunually forces down our throats", I used to think to myself. Well, let's just say I now have a good grasp of it and leave it at that.
To be quite honest here, it's not the fact that others were so responsible that was bothering me, it was the fact that I wasn't. I envied people who knew exactly who they were and had the audacity to pursue their ambitions and shape their life the way they imagined it. I wanted to be that person. I was the one who wanted to be all put together and let others know I'm reliable.
Ok, if we're really being honest here...
Somewhere along the way, I guess, one thing leads to another and one gets to a point where they realize that life isn't always about expecting others to be at our beck and neck and make themselves available for every single whimsy we may come up with, but rather taking responsibility for their actions and getting their shit together.
Is anybody out there?
I know it's a hard pill to swallow, but nobody is supposed to be in charge of our well-being. This has perhaps been the toughest thing out there for me to wrap my head around for the longest time.
And the truth of the matter is, nobody really cares all that much and that's the ultimate truth. The majority of people are mostly concerned with simply getting by, making their ends meet and their needs met. Once you get that out of the way, things seem to start unfolding at their own pace.
Stop guilt tripping others!
There's no use of blaming anyone for not keeping their promise. And that's not the easiest thing to do. Sure, they're dicks for doing so, but what's it to you anyway? Why did you bestow your trust upon them in the first place? Friendship? Relationship? Family? Was it easier to do so? We all come into this world a bit rough around the edges. Some make the necessary leap forward early in life, while others fall behind until they've had enough and decided to get a firm grip on themselves. And that's ok. It's not up to you to go around and fix them up.
So, what do I do?
In the end, it's all about the effort we put in carving ourselves into who we want to become. Not others, forget about those assholes. They have their own shit to deal with. Focus on you. Do what you believe will help you become the best version of yourself and let others take care of themselves. If anything, show them how there are other ways of dealing with things. Set a role model for them. Who knows, perhaps you're the first person in their lives to do it. Maybe they will follow, maybe not, and that's ok. Leave all that aside, that's not the main concern here anyway.
Do what you can to keep it together, keep it simple and stop putting high bets on others. The cost is simply too high.
Even if they're assholes who cancel your carpool the last minute.
Just let it be.
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